Yoga Pants Strip Jokes
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people ... keep reading.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
You do not touch my ... keep reading.
Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO...
10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
8. Your Prozac comes ... keep reading.
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.
10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.
9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.
8. Two words: "... keep reading.
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take ... keep reading.
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
... keep reading.
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear ... keep reading.
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of ... keep reading.
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The Bartender says, "Why do have a steering wheel in your pants?" The man replies " I don't ... keep reading.
It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the ... keep reading.
Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down to use ... keep reading.
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants ... keep reading.
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the ... keep reading.
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to ... keep reading.
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached ... keep reading.
This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If ... keep reading.
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "... keep reading.
Once there was a little boy who was curious about what a strip club was like so one day he decided to sneak into one. Once he was in, he ... keep reading.
People in the airline industry aren't all serious...
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude And ... keep reading.
Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.
When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak. You think of danger.
You take a ... keep reading.
This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy ... keep reading.
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the ... keep reading.