Swimming Naked Jokes
How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed?
She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.
Why did the blonde quit her job as ... keep reading.
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"... keep reading.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray ... keep reading.
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have ... keep reading.
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When ... keep reading.
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
... keep reading.
Two of Clinton's sperm are swimming around in Monica, when one of the sperm looks at the other and says," Hey I think we are coming close to the ovaries"... ... keep reading.
A blonde, brunette and redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde ... keep reading.
A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason ... keep reading.
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do ... keep reading.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the ... keep reading.
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the ... keep reading.
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man ... keep reading.
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man ... keep reading.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that ... keep reading.
An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town where they first met. They sat in a small coffee shop in ... keep reading.
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to ... keep reading.
"The car won't start," aid a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburettor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what ... keep reading.
This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy ... keep reading.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
* Compliment her
* cuddle her
* kiss her
* caress her
* love her
* stroke her
* tease her
* comfort her
* protect her
* hug her
* hold her
* spend money on ... keep reading.
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, ... keep reading.
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem...
In response ... keep reading.
a man walks into a gunshop and says to the attendant, "i need a laser sight, do you have any?" the attendant replies, "yes here's our last one." the man ... keep reading.