South Park Jokes
How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed?
She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.
Why did the blonde quit her job as ... keep reading.
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees ... keep reading.
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and ... keep reading.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone ... keep reading.
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied ... keep reading.
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern ... keep reading.
How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)
How do you tell a Canadian from an American?
It used to be enough ... keep reading.
Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO...
10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
8. Your Prozac comes ... keep reading.
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary ... keep reading.
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right ... keep reading.
A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.
The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."
The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"
"... keep reading.
A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in ... keep reading.
A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes ... keep reading.
Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather had turned so cold that he reluctantly decided ... keep reading.
Some reasons that it's great to be a guy:
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You ... keep reading.
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to ... keep reading.