Sexy Photo Of Girls Jokes
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
You do not touch my ... keep reading.
Actual stupid questions asked
The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies ... keep reading.
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.
Man Gives Up On Women
April 10, 2003 - Atlanta, USA
Atlanta native auto mechanic Michael Ross publicly declares that he has given up the life long struggle to figure out what ... keep reading.
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for elk, moose or deer ... keep reading.
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
... keep reading.
A blonde, brunette and redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde ... keep reading.
So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'. The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety. The doctor asks why he ... keep reading.
Owner of Perfect House Lives in Car
September 18, 2002 - Baltimore, USA
In fear of possibly disturbing the perfection that is his house, Donald Manison has been forced to live in ... keep reading.
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male ... keep reading.
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they ... keep reading.
There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her ... keep reading.
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed ... keep reading.
A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train. Along came this woman and seeing the 2 cute babies started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, ... keep reading.
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please ... keep reading.
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:
Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive ... keep reading.
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out ... keep reading.
Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about ... keep reading.
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed ... keep reading.
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on ... keep reading.
The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team's performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favored to ... keep reading.
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and ... keep reading.
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of ... keep reading.