Nude Live Tv Show Jokes
Parent's Dictionary of Meanings
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
... keep reading.
A man and woman were dating and he asked her to marry him. She told him to prove his love to her she wanted him to get her name, Wendy, ... keep reading.
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let ... keep reading.
RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she ... keep reading.
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a ... keep reading.
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Vice President Al ... keep reading.
Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or ... keep reading.
Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.
Bug - The reason you is ... keep reading.
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that ... keep reading.
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's ... keep reading.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then ... keep reading.
Actual stupid questions asked
The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies ... keep reading.
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, ... keep reading.
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is ... keep reading.
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and ... keep reading.
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and ... keep reading.
10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.
9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.
8. Two words: "... keep reading.
One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I ... keep reading.
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take ... keep reading.
John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides ... keep reading.
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young ... keep reading.
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
... keep reading.
A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, ... keep reading.