Naked Women Jokes
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have ... keep reading.
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to ... keep reading.
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, ... keep reading.
This lady is having a bed-wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor. The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the ... keep reading.
Some reasons that it's great to be a guy:
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You ... keep reading.
RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she ... keep reading.
How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed?
She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.
Why did the blonde quit her job as ... keep reading.
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ... keep reading.
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a ... keep reading.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and ... keep reading.
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"... keep reading.
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people ... keep reading.
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little ... keep reading.
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use ... keep reading.
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"... keep reading.
Dictionary for women
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally ... keep reading.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone ... keep reading.
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they ... keep reading.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't ... keep reading.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray ... keep reading.
The rules for men:
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. ... keep reading.
Yo mama is so stupid
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she ... keep reading.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on ... keep reading.