Naked Home Jokes - Page 3
Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex. "You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems", Linda told her friend. "That's ... keep reading.
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes ... keep reading.
A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason ... keep reading.
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do ... keep reading.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted ... keep reading.
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he ... keep reading.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the ... keep reading.
Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how ... keep reading.
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What ... keep reading.
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good ... keep reading.
It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the ... keep reading.
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants ... keep reading.
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.
Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even ... keep reading.
Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest ... keep reading.
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he ... keep reading.
One day a farmer goes into town to see a vet to see if how to tell that his pigs are pregnant. The vet says that if there standing up ... keep reading.
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they ... keep reading.
Looking for a car? Here are some telltale signs of cars you may want to avoid...
Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."
Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.
Passenger-side "airbag" is ... keep reading.
Can people really be this stupid?
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for ... keep reading.
This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If ... keep reading.
The difference between having Guts and having Balls...
Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having ... keep reading.
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender ... keep reading.
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the ... keep reading.