A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up ... keep reading.
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, ... keep reading.
Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather had turned so cold that he reluctantly decided ... keep reading.
A woman went into a pet shop and said to the man, "I want a parrot, but sell me one that definitely talks."
The man sold her a parrot, saying, "... keep reading.
There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.
So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I ... keep reading.
A German Shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank telegram form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof."
The clerk examined the paper ... keep reading.
The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams in Wyoming.
"So, what did you ... keep reading.
There were these two snake buddies slithering along through the grass.
One snake asked his friend: "Thay, are we poisonous?"
His friend answered: "Yes, very. Why do you ask?"
And ... keep reading.
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag ... keep reading.
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a ... keep reading.
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals ... keep reading.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that ... keep reading.
One day a farmer decided that he wanted to expand his chicken farming. In order to do this he would need a stud rooster. He asked around his fellow farmers ... keep reading.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This ... keep reading.
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on ... keep reading.
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?"
"Dogs can't talk, pal. But ... keep reading.
There is a bear chasing a rabbit through the forest and they're running and running and they stop because a genie appears. The genie says " if you two stop fighting ... keep reading.
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy
cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a
... keep reading.
As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla ... keep reading.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and ... keep reading.
A three legged dog is walking down the middle of the road with a shotgun in his hand. When he was asked why he had a shotgun he said "I'm ... keep reading.
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He ... keep reading.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. ... keep reading.
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After ... keep reading.