Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who ... keep reading.
The pope goes to America and gets picked up at the airport by a Cadillac Limo with the windows blacked out. After a while, the driver hears a rapping on ... keep reading.
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around ... keep reading.
An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the ... keep reading.
Sayings That Should Be On Those Office Inspirational Posters:
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the ... keep reading.
A first-grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the ... keep reading.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that ... keep reading.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
If all ... keep reading.
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, ... keep reading.
1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL
2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO
3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting ... keep reading.
Freddie ran into the kitchen crying and cradling something in his hands. "Mommy, my turtle is dead," Freddie told his mother as he held the turtle out to her.
His ... keep reading.
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the ... keep reading.
I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts till 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before ... keep reading.
A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"
And the tourist guide says, "Yes. ... keep reading.
A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and ... keep reading.
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of ... keep reading.
Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, ... keep reading.
Two brothers have a lifelong dream to immigrate to America. They work hard and save their money. After many years, they have saved enough money and finally emigrate into New ... keep reading.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Blessed are those ... keep reading.
The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes ... keep reading.
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, ... keep reading.
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: Acid rock
2002: Acid reflux
1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2002: Moving to California because ... keep reading.
A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume and regretfully explained to her that he had nothing worthy of her talents. ... keep reading.
There were three guys hitchiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they ... keep reading.