Woman Timeline
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.
5,841 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 32 votes
A look at how a guy looks at his girlfriends through his life.
Category: women jokes
Similar Jokes
-
I Have Cold Hands
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he ... keep reading.
-
Poor Old Mildred
Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. ... keep reading.
-
A Job No Man Tries
One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said. ... keep reading.
-
Some Drug Side Effects
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the ... keep reading.
-
Another Martooni
A lady walks into a bar and says, "Barkeep, gimme a martooni." The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, "Barkeep, gimme another martooni." ... keep reading.
-
Drunk Guy Gets It Bad
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. ... keep reading.
-
Tickle Me Almo
Tickle Me Almo A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls. It was Friday and almost quitting time, and hurriedly ... keep reading.
-
I Like Your Thinking
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "... keep reading.
-
A Long Life
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was ... keep reading.
-
Dont Step on Ducks
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ... keep reading.
-
A Nun A Priest And A Camel
Once upon a time there was a priest and a nun that were traveling on a camel. On a desert. Then in 3 months the camel dies. So the priest and ... keep reading.
-
Toy Train Cursing
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the ... keep reading.
-
The Cat Into A Prince
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in ... keep reading.
-
Why A Divorce For You?
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in ... keep reading.
-
A New Nursing Home
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her ... keep reading.
-
Three Old Ladies Getting Older
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and ... keep reading.