Three Old Men
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.
One seventy-five year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" asked the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."
One seventy-five year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" asked the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."
5,942 views
Rate this joke:
4/5 from 96 votes
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Disabled Swim
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the ... keep reading.
-
Cowboy Buyin' Insurance
The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've ... keep reading.
-
Bet About Pee And A Cup
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.
-
Beer Date Rape Drug
Be on the lookout! Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A date rape ... keep reading.
-
Great Hunting Friend
A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes ... keep reading.
-
Another Day Off
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in ... keep reading.
-
A Horse And A Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the ... keep reading.
-
Old Man Gives Sample
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me ... keep reading.
-
Into A Bar With A Giraffe
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up ... keep reading.
-
Bachelor Food Guide
This is the ultimate guide to good food eating for bachelors... 1. BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface ... keep reading.
-
Friend From The Desert
A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle ... keep reading.
-
Rubbing Car Roofs
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops ... keep reading.
-
The Bravest Soldier
Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the ... keep reading.
-
Three Small Records
One day three small people decided they wanted to be in the record books the fist one says "I have pretty short arms", so he goes and succeeds. The second ... keep reading.
-
Because I'm A Guy
Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking ... keep reading.
-
My Idiot Brother
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But ... keep reading.
