The Impatient Farmer
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride scolded him, "That was an awful thing to do!"
The farmer said, "That's once."
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride scolded him, "That was an awful thing to do!"
The farmer said, "That's once."
3,857 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 29 votes
The impatient farmer gets married and his new wife learns something about him real quick.
Category: marriage jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Bell 1
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on ... keep reading.
-
A Drowning Woman
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran ... keep reading.
-
Three Marriages
Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a ... keep reading.
-
Plane Trip Without A Sound
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the ... keep reading.
-
Empty Specimen
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to ... keep reading.
-
Cherry Bomb Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to ... keep reading.
-
Money Saving Sex
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the ... keep reading.
-
Worm Into The Hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet ... keep reading.
-
KY For My Wife
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted ... keep reading.
-
Sliding Under The Table
John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly ... keep reading.
-
Impressing The Opposite Sex
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: * Compliment her * cuddle her * kiss her * caress her * love her * stroke her * tease her * comfort her * protect her * hug her * hold her * spend money on ... keep reading.
-
High Hotel Bill
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take ... keep reading.
-
Honey Before You Leave
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm ... keep reading.
-
Why The Toes?
A married couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise. Later that night, while going at ... keep reading.
-
Bathtime, What?
A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore. His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and ... keep reading.
-
In The Carburettor
"The car won't start," aid a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburettor." "How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what ... keep reading.
