The Farmers Pigs
One day a farmer goes into town to see a vet to see if how to tell that his pigs are pregnant. The vet says that if there standing up in the morning there not pregnant, but if there rolling in the mud they are. So the farmer goes home and loads all of his pigs in the back of his pick-up and takes them all out in the woods and screws them all once. Then he takes them home and unloads them in there pin. Afterwards he gets tired so goes to bed. The next morning he gets up and checks on the pigs and there standing up, so he takes them all out in the woods and screws them all twice. Then goes home, quickly unloads them in there pin, and goes right to bed. The next morning, very tired, the farmer gets up to check on his pigs, but they are still standing. Again, he loads them in the truck, takes them to the woods, and screws them three times. Then he takes them home, unloads them, and goes straight to bed. The next morning the farmer is so tired he can't even get out of bed, so he yells to his wife to come into his bedroom. He tells her to look out the window and tell him if the pigs are standing up or rolling in the mud. His wife replies neither, they're all in the back of the truck, and ones laying on the horn.
3,572 views
Rate this joke:
2/5 from 32 votes
Super dirty joke about a farmer and how he figures how to get his pigs pregnant.
Category: animal jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Dog Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, ... keep reading.
-
Four Parrots
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he ... keep reading.
-
Your Dog is Dead
One morning, Kevin wakes up to find his dog dead, lying next to his bed. He can't quite believe it, so decides to take him to the vet. The Vet ... keep reading.
-
Snail's Car
There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car. So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I ... keep reading.
-
Froggy Calls A Psychic
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This ... keep reading.
-
Climbing Turtle
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed ... keep reading.
-
Bad Seeing Eye Dog
John was waiting to cross the street when a blind man approached with his guide-dog. The traffic sign turned green and instead of helping its master to cross, the dog ... keep reading.
-
The Absolute Smartest Dog
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag ... keep reading.
-
Bears In Baraboo
A bear walks into a bar in Baraboo, Wisconsin and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says," We ... keep reading.
-
A Captive Prisoner
DAY 752 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that ... keep reading.
-
Horses Discuss Racing Records
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well ... keep reading.
-
White With Black Stripes
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray ... keep reading.
-
The Lucky Cat
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a ... keep reading.
-
The Parrots Warning
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I ... keep reading.
-
Monkey Eats Cueball
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the ... keep reading.
-
The Mime And The Lion
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a ... keep reading.