Irish Mental Institution
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave.
This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for his questioning. When Patty came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.
"Patty you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin.
Patty nodded and the doctor began to question him. The first question was this. "Patty if I was to poke out one of your eyes what would happen?"
"I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought.
"What would happen if I poked out the other eye?"
"I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that he had just gotten his freedom. The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files.
When Patty got into the waiting room however, he told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were.
The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty. "Mike the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?"
"I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking.
"Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?"
"I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."
This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for his questioning. When Patty came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.
"Patty you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin.
Patty nodded and the doctor began to question him. The first question was this. "Patty if I was to poke out one of your eyes what would happen?"
"I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought.
"What would happen if I poked out the other eye?"
"I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that he had just gotten his freedom. The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files.
When Patty got into the waiting room however, he told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were.
The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty. "Mike the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?"
"I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking.
"Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?"
"I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."
3,002 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 28 votes
Irish mental patience get a chance to get out of the nut house by answering two questions right.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Sign Language Construction
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear ... keep reading.
-
Three Texans
There were these three texans and they were gonna go to mexico to get drunk. Well they go there get drunk and pass out they wake up the next morning ... keep reading.
-
Can't Come In Mondays
A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He worked the rest of ... keep reading.
-
A Lake Of Beer
Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from ... keep reading.
-
A Man A Monkey A Bar
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the ... keep reading.
-
Pharmacy Clerk
John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had ... keep reading.
-
The Lawyers Dog
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened ... keep reading.
-
Old Man Gives Sample
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me ... keep reading.
-
My Wife Is Dumber
Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even ... keep reading.
-
Outrunning A Lion
Two guys in a jungle come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground. One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out ... keep reading.
-
Happy To Be Drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to ... keep reading.
-
Not Before Marriage
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not ... keep reading.
-
Please Remove This Curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but ... keep reading.
-
Super Rude Doc
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and ... keep reading.
-
Lay You Or Jack Off
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have ... keep reading.
-
Johnny's Horsey Ride
Little Johnny was passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeked in ... keep reading.