Happy To Be Drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
2,990 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 40 votes
A drunk gets taken in and actually seems happy to be drunk.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Almost There
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a ... keep reading.
-
Shot 3 Times
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are ... keep reading.
-
The Frantic Husband
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" ... keep reading.
-
Calling My Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for ... keep reading.
-
Its Off Limits
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male ... keep reading.
-
How Dogs And Men Are Same
How Dogs and Men Are the Same 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you ... keep reading.
-
A Guys Erect Trick
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Alaska. The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I ... keep reading.
-
Using A Starter Pistol
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem... In response ... keep reading.
-
How Much Sex?
John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides ... keep reading.
-
12 Year Old Scotch
A man walked into a bar and ordered a twelve-year old scotch. As the bartender was busy, he decided to serve the guy whatever he had under his hand. The ... keep reading.
-
Old Fisherman Pays Dues
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and ... keep reading.
-
Bet About Pee And A Cup
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.
-
No Marriage Yet
Bubba was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bubba brought ... keep reading.
-
Picture Of Who?
After a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the ... keep reading.
-
Most Expensive Car
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and ... keep reading.
-
It's Really Quiet
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?" "I've ... keep reading.