Fetch Me A Beer
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
3,181 views
Rate this joke:
2/5 from 36 votes
A man asks his wife to get him a beer several times before she finally gets upset.
Category: marriage jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Not Good In Bed Either
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he ... keep reading.
-
Married Camping Trip
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband ... keep reading.
-
Being Unfaithful
After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years ... keep reading.
-
Still Up In Bed
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed." The little boy started to giggle ... keep reading.
-
Worm Into The Hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet ... keep reading.
-
Sliding Under The Table
John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly ... keep reading.
-
A Firm Pinch
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get ... keep reading.
-
Child's Bad Words
It is Thanksgiving Day and a family is preparing dinner awaiting the arrival of the children's grandparents. Thomas, who is four is running around looking for is new pair of ... keep reading.
-
Going To The Gyno
This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have ... keep reading.
-
Impressing The Opposite Sex
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: * Compliment her * cuddle her * kiss her * caress her * love her * stroke her * tease her * comfort her * protect her * hug her * hold her * spend money on ... keep reading.
-
Wife's New Job
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las ... keep reading.
-
The Impatient Farmer
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "... keep reading.
-
He Said She Said Joke
He said. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . . Since I first laid ... keep reading.
-
Pregnancy Question
A pregnant woman with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...", to which the ... keep reading.
-
Something Really Stinks
A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife ... keep reading.
-
Deaf Bed Talk
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they ... keep reading.