Empty Specimen
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
3,444 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 27 votes
An old man has to give a specimen but comes back with an issue. HILARIOUS.
Category: marriage jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Old Couple Remembers
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, ... keep reading.
-
Finding Perfect Men
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining ... keep reading.
-
A Wonderful Threesome
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead ... keep reading.
-
Wife's New Job
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las ... keep reading.
-
Poor Country Pastor
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," ... keep reading.
-
Stressed Out Family
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial. 8. The cat is on Valium. 7. People have trouble understanding ... keep reading.
-
Change The Name
One day a pregnant wife announced that she was going to start looking for names for her and her husbands unborn child. When the father had gotten home from work ... keep reading.
-
My Last Night
A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor says, "You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you ... keep reading.
-
Love Dr. Diagnosis
Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he ... keep reading.
-
Not Sucking Thumbs
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a ... keep reading.
-
Through the Good and the Bad
Although her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, his wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he finally came to, he ... keep reading.
-
Adding Up The Time
Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, ... keep reading.
-
Your Beautiful Butt
A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt". Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's ... keep reading.
-
Love Life Line
One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if ... keep reading.
-
Pre-Birth Class
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised ... keep reading.
-
Marriage Sign Language
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "... keep reading.
