Elderly Woman In A Sex Shop
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave ddddildosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave aaa pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do".
"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee howwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave ddddildosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave aaa pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do".
"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee howwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"
3,688 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 15 votes
A dirty joke about an elderly woman going into a sex shop and asking about a few things.
Category: women jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Three Nuns And Sin
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, "My greatest sin ... keep reading.
-
The Perfect Guy
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is ... keep reading.
-
Nina Wouldn't Like It
Nina lived in Manhattan. Nina's younger sister, Rosey, came in from college to spend a weekend with her sophisticated sister. Nina had even arranged a date for Rosey with one ... keep reading.
-
Girlfriend 1.0
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and ... keep reading.
-
Mom At The Gyno
A woman in her 30's was taking her mother, who was in her 50's to the gynecologist. After dropping her mother off, she and her daughter ran a few errands, ... keep reading.
-
Dictionary For Women (F-Z)
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone ... keep reading.
-
Bigger After Marriage
There is a new study out about women. I thought these results were pretty interesting. 85% of women think their ass has grown too big since getting married.. 10% of women think ... keep reading.
-
Drunk Guy Gets It Bad
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. ... keep reading.
-
Gay Hired Hand
There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she ... keep reading.
-
What Mom Taught Me
My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you ... keep reading.
-
Good Girl, Bad Girl
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. ... keep reading.
-
Go To Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.
-
PMS Top 10
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet 8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing ... keep reading.
-
CIA Test
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background ... keep reading.
-
Simple Division
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive ... keep reading.
-
10 Things Only Women Understand
10. Cats' facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds 7. Fat clothes 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat ... keep reading.
