Don't Step On A Duck
Three guys get to heaven,Bob, Larry and Bill, and before they enter St. Peter warns them "whatever you do don't ever, ever, step on a duck. Once one quacks, they all do, and they make a terrible racket". Bob enters heaven and immediately steps on a duck. So an angel comes up to him and chains a large hairy ugly woman to him for eternity, and says " I told you not to step on a duck". The next week Larry steps on a duck. An angel comes to him and chains a very ugly woman to him for eternity and says "I told you not to step on a duck". Bill hadn't stepped on a duck since he had gotten into heaven, then one day an angel comes up to him and chains a beautiful supermodel to him. He asked her why she was there and she turned to him and said, " I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
2,860 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 28 votes
Whatever you do, don't step on a duck in heaven!
Category: stupid jokes
Similar Jokes
-
How Many Bars?
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he ... keep reading.
-
Redneck HMO
Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO... 10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape. 9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming. 8. Your Prozac comes ... keep reading.
-
Cannibals Meet
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man who had recently passed away. One cannibal says, "Look at this! You start at the feet and ... keep reading.
-
Talking Dog In A Bar
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's ... keep reading.
-
Son Of A?
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: "Is that a ... keep reading.
-
Some Weird Questions
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What happens if you get scared to death twice? If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? If all ... keep reading.
-
Small Towns
My hometown was so small... ...the clinic was called Joe's Hospital and Grill ...long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy ...the town Lady of the Evening ... keep reading.
-
Fired From A Toy Store
A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean. Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head ... keep reading.
-
Three Relatives Died
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June, ... keep reading.
-
Signs You've Grown Up
1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when ... keep reading.
-
Problem With Hearing
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? keep reading.
-
Frank's Stuttering
Frank was walking down the street one day, when he runs into his buddy Joe. Joe asks Frank how he's doing and Frank replies, "N-N-Not b-b-bad, b-b-but I've d-d-developed th-th-this ... keep reading.
-
Big Truck Owners
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes ... keep reading.
-
Words that should Exist
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, ... keep reading.
-
Country Boys Help
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on ... keep reading.
-
Oops Wrong Email
Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, ... keep reading.
