Do It All Yourself
Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:
THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD, THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED.
The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read:
TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN PUT THE CANVAS AWAY THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE NO CIRCUS TODAY.
----------------
So he sent another note down. It read:
THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD
To which she replied:
I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW SO DO IT BY HAND !
THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD, THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED.
The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read:
TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN PUT THE CANVAS AWAY THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE NO CIRCUS TODAY.
----------------
So he sent another note down. It read:
THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD
To which she replied:
I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW SO DO IT BY HAND !
3,375 views
Rate this joke:
3/5 from 29 votes
Joe tries to tell his wife in code that he's ready for some action.
Category: marriage jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Stressed Out Family
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial. 8. The cat is on Valium. 7. People have trouble understanding ... keep reading.
-
Fun Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, ... keep reading.
-
Being Unfaithful
After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years ... keep reading.
-
Worm Into The Hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet ... keep reading.
-
The Happiest Hour
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby ... keep reading.
-
Dear Husband And Wife
"To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and I ... keep reading.
-
What Are We Eating?
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it ... keep reading.
-
Bad Fishing Day
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to ... keep reading.
-
Burry Him In Blue
The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he's in his brown suit. She'd specifically said to the ... keep reading.
-
Change The Name
One day a pregnant wife announced that she was going to start looking for names for her and her husbands unborn child. When the father had gotten home from work ... keep reading.
-
Alien Honeymoon
A newlywed couple decide that instead of going on an expensive honeymoon, they would get a case of beer and go out to the local lake. As they are sitting ... keep reading.
-
No Sex For Lent
As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up sex for Lent. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in ... keep reading.
-
Marriage Sign Language
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "... keep reading.
-
Wide As The Grill
A man and woman were dating and he asked her to marry him. She told him to prove his love to her she wanted him to get her name, Wendy, ... keep reading.
-
Married Camping Trip
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband ... keep reading.
-
White Wedding Dress
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy ... keep reading.