Chuck Norris Fact
When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
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A series of jokes based on Chuck Norris facts.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
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What He Really Means
I'm hungry = I'm hungry I'm tired = I'm tired Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to ... keep reading.
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Expensive Gift For You
A guy had a major argument with his girlfriend. He was in the wrong, but not enough to back down without an argument. So after storming away, and cooling off, ... keep reading.
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Proctologist's Pen
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, ... keep reading.
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Men's Counter Quote
Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark ... keep reading.
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Try Saying This
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible. INSTEAD OF: No ... keep reading.
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Three Texans
There were these three texans and they were gonna go to mexico to get drunk. Well they go there get drunk and pass out they wake up the next morning ... keep reading.
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Social Security Proof
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the ... keep reading.
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The Birds and the Bees Talk
A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you ... keep reading.
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New Years Resolutions
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. 6. Stop bringing ... keep reading.
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Answer For Women's Q's
1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS? It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of ... keep reading.
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Cardiologists Funeral
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished ... keep reading.
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A Rectum Stretcher
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on ... keep reading.
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At Larry's Bar
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps ... keep reading.
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Gimme A Good Excuse
A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what ... keep reading.
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Irish Mental Institution
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to ... keep reading.
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Picture Of Who?
After a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the ... keep reading.
