Can't Come In Mondays
A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."
The boss says, "You screw your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."
The boss says, "You screw your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
3,129 views
Rate this joke:
4/5 from 10 votes
A man is a great worker but he misses every Monday for work.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Threw Up on Me
This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If ... keep reading.
-
Men Asking Jesus
Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men ... keep reading.
-
Cost Of Pulling A Tooth
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a ... keep reading.
-
Cough Medicine
A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy, walks up to the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him that the pharmacist is ... keep reading.
-
Sign Language Construction
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear ... keep reading.
-
Small Records
One day three midgets decided they wanted to be in the record books the fist one says "I have pretty short arms", so he goes and succeeds. The second one ... keep reading.
-
Messing With A Drinker
This couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog and leaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes up to the women and says, "... keep reading.
-
Drunk Sentenced
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you ... keep reading.
-
Mens Advice For Women
...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.' ...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're ... keep reading.
-
All The Money Worries
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a ... keep reading.
-
Indian Toilet Paper Names
An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. "White Cloud sounds like good ... keep reading.
-
Bathroom Troubles
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I ... keep reading.
-
Dad Will Never Say
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say 10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that ... keep reading.
-
Engineer And Manager
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "... keep reading.
-
Male Female Definitions
THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. ... keep reading.
-
Trying To Board A Bus
One day, a large group of people were waiting for the bus at a local Greyhound station. At the front of the line was a very attractive woman dressed in ... keep reading.
