Can't Come In Mondays
A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."
The boss says, "You screw your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."
The boss says, "You screw your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
3,203 views
Rate this joke:
4/5 from 10 votes
A man is a great worker but he misses every Monday for work.
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
The Dead Lawyer
A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I?m sorry, but he died last week." The next day he ... keep reading.
-
Consumption of Alcohol
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser. Consumption of alcohol may ... keep reading.
-
Impossible To Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they ... keep reading.
-
Common Traits
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man ... keep reading.
-
A Rectum Stretcher
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on ... keep reading.
-
Sleeping In Too Much
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he ... keep reading.
-
A Good Dr. Comback
A doctor tells his old patient: "Mr. Jhones, the last check you gave me came back". The patient answers: "Then we are even, Doc. So did my arthritis". keep reading.
-
Dr. In My Will
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would ... keep reading.
-
Which Musician Would You Be?
Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?". Chuck Norris said, "I would be ... keep reading.
-
Young Boudreaux Missed
Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked ... keep reading.
-
Calling My Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for ... keep reading.
-
Nude Portrait Artist
An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his ... keep reading.
-
Nudist Colony Surprises
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man ... keep reading.
-
The Picture Tells Me
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket ... keep reading.
-
It's Turned Blue!
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue." The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die ... keep reading.
-
I Died This Way
Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how ... keep reading.