Looking for a car? Here are some telltale signs of cars you may want to avoid...

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

Jaws of life in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard.

The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue Zip-Lok seals on your air bags.