A Theatre Bum
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."
3,927 views
Rate this joke:
2/5 from 23 votes
The theatre crew couldn't get this man to move so they finally had to call the police. Do you think that worked?
Category: stupid jokes
Similar Jokes
-
Kid's One-Liners
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you ... keep reading.
-
At Heavens Gates
A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After ... keep reading.
-
Which Sex?
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave ... keep reading.
-
G.I. Insurance
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman ... keep reading.
-
Hell Exothermic?
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with ... keep reading.
-
Knock Knock 1
Knock Knock Who's there? Avocado! Avocado who? Avocado a cold! Knock Knock Who's there? Axel! Axel who? Axeldental Tourist! Knock Knock Who's there? Atch! Atch who? I'm sorry I didn't ... keep reading.
-
You Are The Winner
One day long ago. There was a king who gathered all the people of the land. He said if anyone could swim across the lake (with crocodiles) would have their ... keep reading.
-
Problem With Hearing
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? keep reading.
-
Dirty Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the ... keep reading.
-
Timbuctu
500 years ago in an ancient pub two of the worlds greatest poets sat, ROBERT BURNS and WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. they were to have a contest to find out which one is ... keep reading.
-
A Muddy Hole In The Road
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became ... keep reading.
-
Just Too Much TV!
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." ... keep reading.
-
I'll Be Who
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" ... keep reading.
-
By Smelling A Fork
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry ... keep reading.
-
Catch A Goblin
One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a goblin," she says, "I ... keep reading.
-
Redneck HMO
Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO... 10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape. 9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming. 8. Your Prozac comes ... keep reading.
