A Lawyers Valentines Day
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
2,996 views
Rate this joke:
2/5 from 37 votes
DIRTY LAWYERS! They've even corrupted Valentines day!
Category: men jokes
Similar Jokes
-
How Much Sex?
John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides ... keep reading.
-
I Hate Schlitz
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? ... keep reading.
-
Looks Of Your Wife
After completing his examination, the doctor took her husband aside. "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither, Doc." Said the husband. "But she's a good ... keep reading.
-
Dating My Daughter
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my ... keep reading.
-
Wife With My Best Friend
A guy walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. The bartender poured him the drink and the guy drank it down in one gulp. "Wow," said the bartender. "... keep reading.
-
Guts Vs. Balls
The difference between having Guts and having Balls... Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having ... keep reading.
-
Pregnant Rescue
A young fireman placed a ladder against the bedroom window of a burning house and rushed up. Inside was a curvy brunette in a see- through nightie. "Aha," said he, "... keep reading.
-
The Picture Tells Me
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket ... keep reading.
-
Four Envelopes
The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are ... keep reading.
-
Won't Go To Jail
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "... keep reading.
-
Beer Date Rape Drug
Be on the lookout! Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A date rape ... keep reading.
-
Which Musician Would You Be?
Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?". Chuck Norris said, "I would be ... keep reading.
-
Cardiologists Funeral
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished ... keep reading.
-
Excuse Almost Worked
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked ... keep reading.
-
Fixed Hearing Problems
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of ... keep reading.
-
My Dead Penis
An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the ... keep reading.