Isis Love Jokes - Page 3
1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS? It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of ... keep reading.
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening, she started ... keep reading.
All About Scooby-Doo.
What We Remember:
Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in their purple and green van solving mysteries of all sort--and in the process ... keep reading.
Frank was walking down the street one day, when he runs into his buddy Joe. Joe asks Frank how he's doing and Frank replies, "N-N-Not b-b-bad, b-b-but I've d-d-developed th-th-this ... keep reading.
Two friends are playing golf one day when one of them says to the other," I love golf, I hope that when we die there is golf in heaven." The ... keep reading.
There is a bear chasing a rabbit through the forest and they're running and running and they stop because a genie appears. The genie says " if you two stop fighting ... keep reading.
THE ORIGINAL VERSION:
If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never was yours....
THE PESSIMIST VERSION:
If you love somebody,
... keep reading.
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of ... keep reading.
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15 lb. weapon in hand, after having marched 12 miles, and says,
"This is shit!"
An Army Airborne ... keep reading.
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to ... keep reading.
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
"Last night I made ... keep reading.
Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"
"... keep reading.
A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a ... keep reading.
He said. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Since I first laid ... keep reading.
Every year, Bob goes hunting during bear season. One year, Bob goes hunting, and shoots a small brown bear. Then, the mother of that small brown bear comes up to ... keep reading.
A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone ... keep reading.
A man and his son were walking down the street one day. They saw two dogs having sex in a yard.
The son asked his father, "Daddy, what are they ... keep reading.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No ... keep reading.
Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow ... keep reading.
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on ... keep reading.
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, ... keep reading.
A man was driving home late one night and was feeling very horny. As he was passing a pumpkin patch, his mind started to wander. He thought to himself, you ... keep reading.
Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, ... keep reading.
A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I?m sorry, but he died last week."
The next day he ... keep reading.