Hot Body Show Girl Jokes
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and ... keep reading.
RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she ... keep reading.
Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or ... keep reading.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
You do not touch my ... keep reading.
Actual stupid questions asked
The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies ... keep reading.
Parent's Dictionary of Meanings
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
... keep reading.
10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.
9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.
8. Two words: "... keep reading.
A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason ... keep reading.
1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is ... keep reading.
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried ... keep reading.
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a ... keep reading.
The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.
He goes up to the ... keep reading.
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy ... keep reading.
A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber.
She ... keep reading.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray ... keep reading.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there ... keep reading.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then ... keep reading.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver ... keep reading.
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, ... keep reading.
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, ... keep reading.
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is ... keep reading.
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
You Know You're In Alaska When...
. . .you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
. . .the mayor greets you on the street by your first ... keep reading.
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
There's one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money.
...Veni, Vedi, Clinti--I came, I ... keep reading.
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.