Girl Shirt Off Jokes
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
... keep reading.
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes ... keep reading.
The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.
He goes up to the ... keep reading.
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy ... keep reading.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray ... keep reading.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
You do not touch my ... keep reading.
Top Holiday Traditions In The Military
9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who ... keep reading.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there ... keep reading.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver ... keep reading.
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, ... keep reading.
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket ... keep reading.
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
There's one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money.
...Veni, Vedi, Clinti--I came, I ... keep reading.
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and ... keep reading.
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed ... keep reading.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? ... keep reading.
Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, ... keep reading.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes ... keep reading.
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young ... keep reading.
A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to ... keep reading.
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do ... keep reading.
Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the ... keep reading.
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and screw, ... keep reading.
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
... keep reading.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. ... keep reading.