Drunk Party Jokes and Drunk Party Funnies

Well, Screw Him

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to ... keep reading.

Change of Emblem

The Republican National Committee has announced it's changing the emblem of the Republican Party - from an elephant to a condom. The Republican National Chairman explained that the condom more ... keep reading.

Ordering a Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use ... keep reading.

Redneck Computer Terms

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern. Bug - The reason you is ... keep reading.

Dad Will Never Say

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say 10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that ... keep reading.

Common Traits

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man ... keep reading.

Things to do during an Exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.

Making Confessions

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the ... keep reading.

Celebrity Jokes

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house. Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? A. ... keep reading.

Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.

Annoying Usher

10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk. 9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here. 8. Two words: "... keep reading.

Gay Hired Hand

There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she ... keep reading.

How Many Bars?

There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he ... keep reading.

Pool Full Of Gators

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. ... keep reading.

Always Room For...

A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her. When the class began, silently she picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded ... keep reading.

Martian Swap

A middle aged couple went to a spouse swapping party. They met a Martian couple and thought it would be nice to switch partners for the night. So they went ... keep reading.

Into A Bar With A Giraffe

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up ... keep reading.

The Party List

Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you can pronounce. Use a different accent every time you talk to someone ... keep reading.

Farmer And College Worker

A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine ... keep reading.

Premature Costume

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the ... keep reading.

Threw Up on Me

This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If ... keep reading.

Fun Costume Party

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, ... keep reading.

Giraffe Walks Into A Bar

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up ... keep reading.

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed ... keep reading.

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Drunk Party Jokes

Well, Screw Him

Change of Emblem

Ordering a Pizza

Redneck Computer Terms

Dad Will Never Say

Common Traits

Things to do during an Exam

Making Confessions

Celebrity Jokes

Go To Work Naked

Annoying Usher

Gay Hired Hand

How Many Bars?

Pool Full Of Gators

Always Room For...

Martian Swap

Into A Bar With A Giraffe

The Party List

Farmer And College Worker

Premature Costume

Threw Up on Me

Fun Costume Party

Giraffe Walks Into A Bar

Girls Night Out

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