Drunk Girls Puke Jokes and Drunk Girls Puke Funnies

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed ... keep reading.

Drunken George

George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house. George's Wife: "The last time you went out with your ... keep reading.

Ordering a Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use ... keep reading.

Dating My Daughter

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my ... keep reading.

Common Traits

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man ... keep reading.

Real Questions

Actual stupid questions asked The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies ... keep reading.

Things to do during an Exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.

Making Confessions

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the ... keep reading.

What Do Girls Want

Man Gives Up On Women April 10, 2003 - Atlanta, USA Atlanta native auto mechanic Michael Ross publicly declares that he has given up the life long struggle to figure out what ... keep reading.

Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, ... keep reading.

Annoying Usher

10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk. 9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here. 8. Two words: "... keep reading.

Gay Hired Hand

There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she ... keep reading.

How Many Bars?

There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he ... keep reading.

Good Girl, Bad Girl

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. ... keep reading.

The Breast Stroke

A blonde, brunette and redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde ... keep reading.

Into A Bar With A Giraffe

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up ... keep reading.

Well, Screw Him

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to ... keep reading.

Dirty Old Man

So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'. The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety. The doctor asks why he ... keep reading.

Bet About Pee And A Cup

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his ... keep reading.

Its Off Limits

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male ... keep reading.

Threw Up on Me

This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If ... keep reading.

What Do You Call It

There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her ... keep reading.

Giraffe Walks Into A Bar

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up ... keep reading.

Happy To Be Drunk

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to ... keep reading.

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Drunk Girls Puke Jokes

Girls Night Out

Drunken George

Ordering a Pizza

Dating My Daughter

Common Traits

Real Questions

Things to do during an Exam

Making Confessions

What Do Girls Want

Go To Work Naked

Annoying Usher

Gay Hired Hand

How Many Bars?

Good Girl, Bad Girl

The Breast Stroke

Into A Bar With A Giraffe

Well, Screw Him

Dirty Old Man

Bet About Pee And A Cup

Its Off Limits

Threw Up on Me

What Do You Call It

Giraffe Walks Into A Bar

Happy To Be Drunk

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