Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who ... keep reading.
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive",Osama himself decided to send George W a letter in his own handwriting to let him know ... keep reading.
The pope goes to America and gets picked up at the airport by a Cadillac Limo with the windows blacked out. After a while, the driver hears a rapping on ... keep reading.
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around ... keep reading.
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One British SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban".
... keep reading.
Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due to some administrative foul
up, Clinton gets sent to Heaven and the Pope gets sent to Hell.
The Pope ... keep reading.
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried ... keep reading.
Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.
Men are like computers... hard to figure ... keep reading.
A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up ... keep reading.
This guy loved living on Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or ... keep reading.
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But ... keep reading.
An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the ... keep reading.
A woman goes to her doctor and says that she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a ... keep reading.
Sayings That Should Be On Those Office Inspirational Posters:
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the ... keep reading.
A first-grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the ... keep reading.
RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she ... keep reading.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that ... keep reading.
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and ... keep reading.
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to ... keep reading.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport... parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door ... keep reading.
A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. "Oh no!" cried the brunette. "Is he following me?" "Yep," replied the blonde.
"I'm going ... keep reading.
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Alaska.
The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I ... keep reading.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
If all ... keep reading.
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, ... keep reading.