Animals Jokes - Page 3
A bear walks into a bar in Baraboo, Wisconsin and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says," We ... keep reading.
This man wanted to buy a hunting dog. He heard of this guy who had a dog for sale, so he went to check it out. They get the dog ... keep reading.
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After ... keep reading.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. ... keep reading.
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He ... keep reading.
There was a little boy who lived on a farm. One morning when he got up from bed his mother told him he needed to start doing his chores around ... keep reading.
A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After ... keep reading.
A three legged dog is walking down the middle of the road with a shotgun in his hand. When he was asked why he had a shotgun he said "I'm ... keep reading.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and ... keep reading.
As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla ... keep reading.
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy
cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a
... keep reading.
There is a bear chasing a rabbit through the forest and they're running and running and they stop because a genie appears. The genie says " if you two stop fighting ... keep reading.
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?"
"Dogs can't talk, pal. But ... keep reading.
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on ... keep reading.
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things ... keep reading.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This ... keep reading.
One day a farmer decided that he wanted to expand his chicken farming. In order to do this he would need a stud rooster. He asked around his fellow farmers ... keep reading.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that ... keep reading.
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals ... keep reading.
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a ... keep reading.
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag ... keep reading.
There were these two snake buddies slithering along through the grass.
One snake asked his friend: "Thay, are we poisonous?"
His friend answered: "Yes, very. Why do you ask?"
And ... keep reading.
The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams in Wyoming.
"So, what did you ... keep reading.
A German Shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank telegram form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof."
The clerk examined the paper ... keep reading.