911 Call Jokes and 911 Call Funnies

Blonde Jokes 1

How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed? She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan. Why did the blonde quit her job as ... keep reading.

Lil' Johnny on Politics

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so ... keep reading.

US naval communications

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees ... keep reading.

Ordering a Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use ... keep reading.

ABC of Ex Girlfriends

A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could ... keep reading.

Redneck Computer Terms

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern. Bug - The reason you is ... keep reading.

Yo Mamma So Stupid

Yo mama is so stupid Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she ... keep reading.

More Yo Mamma's Stupid

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo mama so stupid she stepped on ... keep reading.

Fun With Telemarketers

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner ... keep reading.

Repairing The Phone

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests ... keep reading.

Things to do during an Exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. ... keep reading.

Religious Battle Golf

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants ... keep reading.

Naughty Jokes Collection

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get. Q. What does an old woman have ... keep reading.

Maharajah Of India

The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was ... keep reading.

Blondes And 911

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: They can't remember the number. keep reading.

Emergency Landing

According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped ... keep reading.

Mom's Dictionary

Term dictionary Parent's Dictionary of Meanings DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. ... keep reading.

Customer Service Name

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the ... keep reading.

Celebrity Jokes

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house. Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? A. ... keep reading.

A Theatre Bum

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only ... keep reading.

Old Couple Remembers

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, ... keep reading.

Bill Gates In Hell

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God... "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to ... keep reading.

Elderly Customer Support

An elderly woman called, furious. Tech Support: "How can I help you ma'am?" Customer: "You had better help me!" Tech Support: "That's why they pay me!" Customer: "Don't get smart ... keep reading.

Kid's One-Liners

Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you ... keep reading.

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911 Call Jokes

Blonde Jokes 1

Lil' Johnny on Politics

US naval communications

Ordering a Pizza

ABC of Ex Girlfriends

Redneck Computer Terms

Yo Mamma So Stupid

More Yo Mamma's Stupid

Fun With Telemarketers

Repairing The Phone

Things to do during an Exam

Religious Battle Golf

Naughty Jokes Collection

Maharajah Of India

Blondes And 911

Emergency Landing

Mom's Dictionary

Customer Service Name

Celebrity Jokes

A Theatre Bum

Old Couple Remembers

Bill Gates In Hell

Elderly Customer Support

Kid's One-Liners

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